Grandma

My grandma has had various heart tests which all point to the same thing, that she needs a valve replacement. She visited the heart surgeon yesterday, and both the surgeon and my grandma agreed that she is not strong enough right now to handle the surgery. The surgeon suggested coming back in 6 weeks and my grandma thinks that she'll be feeling better by then and can have the sugery. I disagree with this, reluctantly, but I can't imagine how she is going to get stronger. I feel like I've been smacked in the face with this and yet I knew somewhere in my mind that this was going to happen. She said nothing tastes good to her, she's too nauseous to eat, she's having nosebleeds, her mouth is dry, etc. She thinks that this is due to the radiation, and maybe it is? but she's been feeling worse and worse each day, and it doesn't sound like the radiation is the culprit.

So, for now, we wait, pray, enjoy our time together, and make sure she's comfortable and has the support she needs. If you have any suggestions or thoughts for me they're appreciated. At least before I felt like we were working towards something, and the "work" gave me something to focus on. Now, when faced with the stark reality of things, I feel helpless and sad.

I know my blog title is "Things that make me smile" and this definitely isn't something that makes me smile, but I felt like this was the best place to share. I promise to get back to my regular posts, pictures, etc. soon!